Monday, February 9, 2015

How to Win an Industry Award

Many epople have many things to say abut the Grammys, both in praise and in disappointment. Rather than re-hash all that. let me focus on just one thing.

The Grammys are a perfect example of a formula I figured out for winning and industry award (that is, an award given by members of an industry, like the Oscars, the Emmy's, the Tonys, and the Grammys, although it is seen most often in the Oscars and Grammys). The Award that was given this past sunday night that is the example of the successful use of the formula is the "PBest Traditional Pop award given to Lady Gaga and Tony Bennet. Here is how it works:

1. Pick a genre of your preferred industry that is off the mainstream but has a passionate fan base.

2. Become a big star in that genre.

3. Pick another genre off the manstream and "crossover."

Easy as pie. Here is what will happen:

Your fans from your original genre will follow you to the new genre.

Fans of the new genre will be curious as to how this star of another genre can do.

This will create enough of a ripple in the mainstream radar that mainstram audiences will want to know what is going on.

The industry, which is pretty much defined as "the mainstream," which has never really paid attention to ether genre, will be impressed by the novelty of your new endeavor.

Not having any experience with which to judge your efforts, they will assume that what you did is excellent, and give you the award.

This formula has worked for Brian Setzer (Rockabilly to Swing), Dave Alvin (rck and roll to Traditional Folk), Ang Lee (Arrt-House Asian Cinema to Kung Fu), and, to take a parallel version of the formula, many actors who became directors (Kevin Costner, Clint Eastwood, etc)

Look at how this worked this year: Lady Gaga, who was on the top of her genre of...whatever it was (I want to say something like "socially alienated little monsters," but I am not sure if that is a genre, but you get the idea), went as far away from that as possible by doing a duet with one of the last of the great crooners, Tony Bennet, in the now-underappreciated genre of American Pop.

BANG! Instant award!

I am not saying that the work of any of these examples did not merit their awards, but the math just. doesn't. Lie.

Now you go and do it.

Friday, November 28, 2014

Thoughts About the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Broadcast 2014

Some thoughts about the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade 2014 and the commercials in the broadcast:

Savanna Guthrie (or her scriptwriter) does not know the difference between a “slash” and a “backslash.”

The baton/rifle/flag twirler who is just a little off the pace always draws your eye.

Christopher Walken as Captain Hook just shows how much casting decisions are made based on actor popularity. This is not to say that some of these actors don't do a great job (James Franco in “Tristan & Isolde” and Walter Matthau in Roman Polanski's “Pirates” are two examples), but really, Christopher Walken as Captain Hook?

American Authors were totally busted for missing their entrance in the lip-synch.

Has rock and roll gone so far away from the electric guitar that Gibson has to have a country band on their electric guitar float? And does this country band really have to be the most contemporary, countrypolitan, non-country band in the universe, that doesn't even feature an electric guitar in their song?

I love the Harlem Globetrotters,and I am glad they have a woman on their team again. Did you know there was a “Harlem Globetrotters” movie made in 1951 with Dorothy Dandridge? It was actually on TV this week, on MeTV, one of those new, digital-TV “extra” channels that plays movies all the time.

At first it sounded like Kiss was singing live, but maybe they just recorded themselves recently, because the camera caught a couple of them totally missing the lip-synch.

Queen sounds awesome done in big marching band style.

It was perfectly appropriate to have “Annie” on the Build-A-Bear float. I don't care if the actress who plays the lead is black, and even that her hair isn't orange, but if that was her, I was a little disappointed that she was the least-animated performer in the number. And I am sure Jamie Foxx will make a fine Daddy Warbucks (casting for popularity again?) but Daddy Warbucks should be bald.

The cool jazz version of “Walking in a Winter Wonderland” by Renee Flemming was absolutely perfect on the “Central Park in wintertime” float. I don't even care if it was lip-synched.

The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is a big, corny, cheese-fest, a uniquely American celebration of American show-business, commercialism, mainstream pop culture, and marching bands. It's one of those things that make NYC hat it is that is so damn popular and crowded no one can get to see it, except the thousands and thousands of people who do, jamming up the streets for miles along the route. The bet view of it, of course, is on television, and it is thus planned and choreographed to give the cameras the best view.

It is a completely useless exercise if overkill and waste that serves absolutely no purpose but to display the latest Broadway musicals, pop stars, youth-targeted movies and TV shows, toys, and tourist attractions, and no doubt draws tourists from all over the world who fill our hotels, flood our streets, and jam up our subways (they should have a subway turnstile in every hotel in NC so tourists can practice using their new Metrocards before they get in the subway) and make it impossible for real New Yorkers to enjoy all the wonderful things that NY has to offer that tourists know about.

Human beings are living on this planet on borrowed time. Fossil fuels are a limited resource, global woarming will challenge the habitability of the planet, and there will soon be too many people for the biosphere to handle. We could all live spartan lives, grow self-sustaining gardens for our solar-powered micro-homes for our three-person family units while doing Canadian Air Force exercises, and that would certainly sustain the life of the planet and the Human Race, but what would be the point of that? It's these cheesy, overblown spectacles that are part of national traditions that, much like the seasons, give us things to look forward to, and like any form of entertainment, give us a thrill and make us happy are alive and can see and hear.

Now if only we could focus that much of our energy and resources on ending war, posvery, injustice, and saving the planet...

Monday, May 13, 2013

Asterix at the Movies...

I just saw "Asterix in Britain," the latest adaptation f the Asterix graphic novels fro Europ by Gosciny and Uderzo.

It was fucking brilliant.

The problem with many "satires," "parodies," and "pastiches" in recent years is hat they seem to work on the assumption that merely mentioning, evoking, or referencing a popular movie, TV show, commercial or "meme" is enough to et a lough, as if that was comedy. That is not the case. you have to use it in a way that says something about the subject that you are parodying, and you get bonus points for saying something about what you are referencing as well.

It also helps if the actors are talented, the story is moving, the script is well-written, and the editing is paced properly for the material.

Comedy has rules. A running joke is used three times, and the third time goes wrong. Characters reveal their true natures under stress. Hang a lampshade on an obvious plot device. Someone getting thrown out a window is funny. Cultural differences are funny. Important people being taken of their high horse is funny. People from different walks of life falling in love is funny. British people are funny. A bit with a dog, and love conquers all.

"Asterix" used all these rules, and used them well. It also referenced everything from James bond to "Pirates of the Caribbean" to "Shrek" to "300" to "Downfall" and did it well. My GF could barely contain herself in several scenes, and had never seen an Asterix comic in her life.

The film is a worthy companion to the recent "Adventures of Tintin" in to category of "recent adaptations of classic popular cult European graphic novel series that never quite hit the mainstream in the US but are really, really good," and is flat-out one of the funniest movies I have ever seen.

For those of you who need more: The story is loosely based on the graphic novels "Asterix in Britain" and "Asterix and the Normans." It follows the adventures of Asterix, a Gaulish warrior in the time of Julius Caesar, and his friend Obelix as they go to Britain to help fight the Romans. They decide to bring a nephew with whom they are charged with turning into a man, but who would prefer to be a bard and spends all his time wooing maidens and singing…badly. They are also charged to bring a magic potion which gives great strength to the Britons, and in the course of the adventure the barrel is lost. They happen to run into a allow from India time and again. Asterix and Obelix have a falling out. A lampshade is hung on an obvious plot device. British people are funny. People are thrown out of windows. Cultural differences occur. People are thrown out of windows. People from different walks of life fall in love. There is a bit with a dog, and love conquers all.

See this movie. Now.

Here is it on

Here are some other movies in the seres...

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Some thoughts about Super Bowl XLVI...

The Super Bowl is possibly the biggest sports/TV event in America. In what is now becoming a "big TV event" tradition for Captain Zorikh, here are a few thoughts about the Big Game (as you have to call it if you are advertising something related to it and you have not paid any licensing fees)...

An early safety and 10-9 score at the half? Shades of 1987!

Chevy apocalypse - well done, but the apocalypse, be it nuclear, zombies, or just plain chaos, is now officially yesterday's joke.

Seinfeld - Super-rich super-celebrities annoy me. Because I'm not one...yet.

Madonna's halftime show - just as subtle and understated as the Super Bowl deserves.

The Avengers movie commercial gives me all the teases I want...

...but frankly this other trailer showed me more stuff...

Awesome finish! Go Giants!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Spider-Man Down!

So they have shut down the previews of the musical "Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark." Who didn't see this coming?

This was the latest "Most Expensive Musical in Broadway History." It's production was suspended before it even had its first preview. It was figured that it would have to have something like five years of sellouts to break even. Its out-of-town previews were plagued with accidents and technical nightmares.

Sure with such a confluence of talent, Bono, Julie Taymor, et al, you might expect to have something spectacular, but somehow it just never seemed to gel. Perhaps it was overambitious. It seems that everything today, especially when it's an adaptation of a comic book superhero, has to be bigger, grander, and groundbreaking in it's scope and interpretation of the source material. But that is a big risk.

Motion pictures made the same mistake. Each Batman movie got bigger and grander until the collapsed under their own weight. It was then up to the smaller pictures of the lesser-know n comics properties, like Blade, The Mask, and Barb Wire, to show how a comic book movie could be successful.

On Broadway a smaller-budget musical "It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's Superman" was a success in 1966. I was adapted into a TV movie in 1975...

But the risk there is that the small scale will inappropriately understate the material. Movies like "Captain America" and the Cathy Lee Gifford "Wonder Woman" showed us that...

But big budget or small, traditional or groundbreaking, whether on stage or screen, there must be a solid story and engaging characters. Through all the hype, sound, and fury surrounding "Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark," nobody accused the show of having either.

New channels, old shows and movies

A few weeks ago I was told of new channels on the new HDTV system that has been in effect for the past couple of years. I figured, then, that it must be time to re-scan for tv channels that could be picked up by my digital converter box.

The new channel selection reminds me of cable TV from the 1970’s. There are kids’ channels Spanish channels, shopping channels, Christian channels, Spanish kids’ channels, Spanish shopping channels, Spanish Christian channels, Spanish kids’ Christian shopping channels, Chinese Channels, Korean channels, and a few channels that show old TV shows and movies.

This is a great opportunity to see what the medium of television was giving us before cable TV and changing technology and social mores gave us the diversity, excitement, and mature subject matters we see today. Shows like “Robin Hood,” “Life with Elizabeth,” “I Married Joan,” “Ozzie and Harriet,” “Peter Gunn,” "Daniel Boone," and “Bat Masterson” show us the attempts that were made to fill time on TV with quality, wholesome entertainment. We also occasionally get to see some well-known actors in their younger days. Acting, writing, and directing styles were very different back then. We even get to see views of cultures that don’t exist anymore, like dinner/dance nightclubs and beat poets.

But what is more personally interesting (and addictive) is This TV (HDTV 11-3 in New York City), a station that shows nothing but movies almost all day and night (with some children’s shows in the morning). But most of the movies are the second-tier, lower-budget sequels and knock-off movies with less-well known actors. Instead of “Bad News Bears” we get “Here Come the Tigers.” Instead of “The Magnificent 7” we get “Guns of the Magnificent 7” and “Magnificent 7” Ride. Instead of “The Guns of Navarone” we get “The Iron Coast.” Instead of “The Wild Angels” we get “The Glory Stompers.” Instead of “Oceans 11,” James Bond, or even Matt Helm, we get “Salt and Pepper” and “One More Time.” Instead of "True Grit" we get "Rooster Cogburn." Instead of "Billy Jack" we get "The Born Losers."

I find it nice to see that these lesser-known works of pop culture get an opportunity to be screened, especially on free TV. Cable TV, the growth of the VCR (followed by the DVD and Blu-Ray), and the commercial effectiveness of the infomercial have meant that free TV has been showing fewer and fewer movies over the past two decades. And even on cable and at the video store, older and lesser-known movies have been drowned out by the ongoing crush of major blockbusters, reality TV, and the forward march of time.

I fear that This TV will go the way of many other stations that have been movie-heavy or had a single programming concept (WPIX in the 1980’s, MTV, The Nashville Network, the Sci-Fi Channel, WBIS). It will find greater profits in original programming and diversity. Then these movies will go back to the dustbins of film-making history. But for now, let’s enjoy seeing what our parents and grandparents saw, and let that inform us on where they came from when we don’t understand them.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

R.I.P. Elizabeth Taylor

Liz Taylor is dead.

She was an icon, a legend, a true queen/diva of celebrities, a multi-married beauty as famous for being herself, if not more so, than anything good she accomplished.

She was also a talented actress, hardworking businessperson, and caring philanthropist.

But I will let all the other biographers and obituary writers go into those details. I suppose I was “always” aware of Liz, she being the celebrity she was. I’ll bet nary a week went by in which her name was not in the paper, somewhere, several times, even when a movie she was in was not playing somewhere.

My first awareness of her as a “current” personality (as opposed to simply someone who was in a lot of old movies) was when the Weekly World News ran a photo of her walking down the street titled “Look Who’s Looking Good!” It seems she had recovered from a period of corpulence and dissolution and was now fit and happy. This must have been a rare example of WWN actually reporting a true story, for shortly thereafter, she starred in the TV movie “Malice in Wonderland.”

This film was heralded as a sort of “comeback” for here. My mom watched it, and commented with astonishment at how good she looked.

The glow of that moment stuck with me, and from then on, whenever her name came up, I always thought of that WWN article.

It was that article that I thought of just yesterday when I stumbled across an article in the National Enquirer in which it was reported that her latest ex-husband was having financial troubles, and how it was unlikely that Liz would be able to help, being that she was 79 and in the hospital. Of course they ran an unflattering picture of a gaunt, tired-looking Liz with an oxygen tube in her nose. I wondered how she had been doing since she was reported “looking good.” Now I know.